My parents demonstrated a very strong work ethic - their dedication was truly exceptional. Growing up, I witnessed their unwavering commitment as they woke up at 3:30 am to prepare for work. By 5:00 am, they were already out of the house, with my father working as a school bus driver and my mother serving as a school bus matron, looking after the children on the bus. Their workdays extended well beyond 6 pm, persisting throughout the entire week. Their tireless labor was solely aimed at providing my siblings and I with a stable home and ample food on our plates.
The work ethic instilled by my parents became an integral part of my identity. I felt compelled to grind and work tirelessly, knowing that their sacrifices in migrating to the United States from Haiti should not be in vain. An inner voice, my inner "drill sergeant," fueled my determination. She would push me relentlessly, never allowing me to rest or take a day off. Her brutal screams and chants served as constant reminders that I needed to keep pushing, never relenting, and never giving in to fatigue. I embraced this discipline and worked exceptionally hard, even as a 15-year-old, dedicating late hours until 11 pm on weekdays and leading student government meetings at 7 am the next day. I relentlessly competed with my peers for the best job offers and strived to achieve the highest ratings at work.
However, the COVID-19 pandemic brought an unexpected halt to the frenetic pace of life. For the first time in eight years, I had the chance to be still. The world shut down, and there were no longer gyms to attend or restaurants to dine in. It was a rare opportunity to embrace lazy Saturdays and enjoy hiking trips with friends. But once life returned to normal, I felt the need to compensate for the time I spent being unproductive during the pandemic. So, I jumped back into grind mode, taking on multiple endeavors simultaneously.
In our society, rest is often undervalued and even frowned upon. People tend to celebrate burnout, glorifying those who work long hours and pull all-nighters. The grind is admired, while the idea of prioritizing rest and sleep is met with surprise or skepticism. A month before gathering in Piacenza with my fellow 12 peers in the WISE program, I experienced extreme burnout, feeling completely depleted and dreading my daily tasks. For two consecutive weeks, by Thursday morning, my productivity levels were completely depleted, and I began to dread all the tasks I had to accomplish for the day. This was a turning point, and I realized that something needed to change. But it wasn't until my two weeks in Piacenza that I underwent a significant shift in my perspective on well-being. Our agenda was filled with an array of insightful topics, ranging from systems change to effective leadership approaches. However, it was the wellbeing sessions that truly struck a chord with me and shifted the course of my life.
There are four lessons I learned:
1. Selfcare is not a replacement for wellbeing
I used to think that occasional spa days or yoga sessions were enough to address burnout and stress. However, I came to realize that self-care is just a small part of the bigger picture. True well being requires an ongoing plan and commitment to take care of oneself proactively, not just as a reaction to burnout.
2. The true definition of success
Previously, I had equated success with external achievements, such as titles, awards, and recognition. However, I’ve come to learn that true success is about finding fulfillment, purpose, and a sense of contentment in both personal and professional aspects of life. It's not about chasing external validation through accolades but aligning my goals with my inner values and passionsThere are many causes of burnout
I used to believe that my burnout was solely a result of an overwhelming workload that seemed impossible to manage. It was easy to blame the sheer amount of tasks and responsibilities as the primary cause of my exhaustion. Burnout can be triggered by various factors, many of which are not often spoken about enough. Some of these less-discussed causes of burnout include feeling disconnected from personal values and a lack of recognition and rewards for one's efforts. Acknowledging these additional factors shed light on the complexity of burnout and allowed me to better understand and address its root causes in my own life.
3. You don't have to earn rest
In the past, I used to believe that rest was a reward for hard work or an achievement to be earned through relentless effort. Rest is not something that should be earned or treated as a luxury; it is a fundamental necessity for overall well-being and productivity. It allows us to rejuvenate both physically and mentally, which, in turn, enhances our productivity and effectiveness in the long run. By giving myself permission to rest without feeling guilty, I have experienced greater clarity, creativity, and overall satisfaction in both my personal and professional endeavors.
In sum, success isn't solely about non-stop hustle; it's about striking a harmonious balance between ambition and rest. I've learned that as long as I'm giving my best effort, my parents will be proud of me. Day by day, I am unlearning unhealthy habits that have been ingrained in me and learning to take breaks and recharge when needed. Rest is not a privilege. Rest is a human right. You do not have to earn rest.